yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
love makes seman taste better
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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