I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think my fart just growled at me.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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