just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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