omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Help me help you realize you are a moron
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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