You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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