The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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