alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize