Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
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Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
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I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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