he thought i was a dude.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!