So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now