I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.