when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.