We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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