Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You made out with two different species that night
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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