Buhtt sex?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
