Im at strip club and am horny
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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