Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize