is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
