You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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