Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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