thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.