D3 body, D1 cock
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.