On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
That's an oxymoron.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football