So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.