Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.