She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
