the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize