Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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