I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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