I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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