Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
