Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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