if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize