i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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