You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
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I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
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Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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