Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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