the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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