Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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