Don't you send me to vm
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
