His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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