I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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