So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
