Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.

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  (810) Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal. http://tfl.nu/hj11
  Replies (4) Good night (686) Bad night (818)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."

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  (802): I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic." http://tfl.nu/uvkh
  Replies (60) Good night (5184) Bad night (975)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.

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  (732): He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it. http://tfl.nu/hjdx
  Replies (79) Good night (9235) Bad night (2849)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.

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  (734): He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another. http://tfl.nu/sx70
  Replies (11) Good night (4403) Bad night (1604)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.

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  (201): A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus. http://tfl.nu/oh1b
  Replies (4) Good night (3556) Bad night (1222)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  since when the fuck is that glamorous?

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  (843): throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected (1-843): since when the fuck is that glamorous? http://tfl.nu/4ixl
  Replies (8) Good night (1450) Bad night (3338)
• Favorite

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.

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  (980): when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space. http://tfl.nu/ayzt
  Replies (14) Good night (6076) Bad night (809)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint

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  (914): I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint http://tfl.nu/yez0
  Replies (10) Good night (793) Bad night (1757)
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  (831): View more from California

  tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better

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  (831): tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better http://tfl.nu/2cpz
  Replies (3) Good night (1686) Bad night (493)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.

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  (360): He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning. http://tfl.nu/j239
  Replies (0) Good night (613) Bad night (1038)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow

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  (203): The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow http://tfl.nu/7yz5
  Replies (7) Good night (645) Bad night (1015)
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  (619): View more from California

  He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.

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  (619): He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft. http://tfl.nu/kmfz
  Replies (1) Good night (321) Bad night (748)
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  (310): View more from California

  What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.

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  (310): What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business. http://tfl.nu/a4r2
  Replies (5) Good night (2200) Bad night (471)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep

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  (281): I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep http://tfl.nu/mi4b
  Replies (4) Good night (683) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.

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  (360): Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve. http://tfl.nu/vuq2
  Replies (0) Good night (556) Bad night (182)

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