I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
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This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine