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so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
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