Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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