He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
