Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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