There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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