Only a mothe r could love this liver
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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