i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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