Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"