Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
I love us.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.