peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.