I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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