You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
