You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
