you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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