as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize